This is satire, my friends. I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it.
In an odd turn of events, gun store owners across the nation plan to rush the polls this November, casting their votes for Hillary Clinton. When asked why, they simply stated, “we are just so used to all the cash from the sales of so many guns under the current president, that we just can’t let Trump win. I think we’re all willing to do whatever it takes to keep rolling in the cash,” he said.
To be sure, gun shop owners have had a hard time keeping any guns on the shelves, with the popular AR-15 being one of the most sought after.
When speaking to one shop owner about the popular sporting rifles, he said: “we had to stop selling name-brand rifles because we couldn’t find any to sell. Nobody had them for us. People were in a frenzy to buy guns before Barry O’ took them all away.” He went on to say that, in order to capitalize on as much profit as possible, he began to make his own version of the AR-15. “In all honesty, we just cannot afford to have Trump in office. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep him out,” he said requesting to remain anonymous.
What is going on here?
Such news comes on the heels of NRA’s endorsement of republican presidential hopeful, Donald Trump. Of course, Trump has been a voice crying out in the night at pro Second Amendment Rallies, and even during his regular speeches. Surprisingly, even while his past is, at best, questionable concerning his stance on the “assault weapons ban,” he seems to be as pro-Constitution as you can get in the current political climate.
One thing’s for sure, Trump sure does have a way with words. And, people. Never before has one man been the focus of so many angry folks (from both sides of the coin), and that is precisely why many people are afraid of him getting into office.
But for the gun shops?
They’re only concerned that if Trump gets into office, people just won’t need guns anymore. One gun store employee said, speaking of his boss’ beliefs: “There just won’t be a need because most people aren’t afraid that Donald Trump will take their guns away. He also voiced his concern about Hillary getting her way, and something about confiscation and halting gun sales altogether.”
He went on to say: “Personally, I don’t get it. I mean, the crazies will still be out there trying to hurt, rape, kill or maim the decent, hard working folks—like me. I’ll still need guns for protection, but my boss just doesn’t get that.”
They seem to understand, but cash is king in this strapped economy…
One gun store owner said that he’s had an ongoing employee of the month plaque on the wall behind the shop’s counter with a picture of the highest-selling salesmen of the month. That salesman has been the same person for the past 7.5 years in a row, month in and month out—longer than any other salesman in company history. Who is that person, you might ask? Barry O’ President.
Strangely enough, he’s on a plaque behind gun store counters across the country as the highest grossing gun salesman in history, and, some even believe that he alone is responsible for the economic boost that the firearms industry provides for America. My friends, that’s billions (with a “b”) of dollars per year.
When we asked how they formed the idea of voting for Hillary, and against the one man who seems to have a clue about what the Constitution actually says about guns, they said that they were taking cues from Bernie’s anti-Trump protesters who’ve been hitting the streets (and sadly, also hitting civilians, the police, their cars, and, even the poor horses they ride on).
Again, this was nothing more than a piece of satire. Let us know what you think in the comment section below. And, make sure you subscribe to Gun Carrier’s FREE Newsletter.