Presidential Hopeful Plans to Give America Back Her Dream by Cutting Gun Violence

It’s impossible. A day can’t go by without some gun-grabbing nutjob making asinine statements about how to cut “gun violence” by half in under 10 years. But, that’s not even the funny part. Nope, presidential hopeful Martin O’Malley claims that by cutting gun violence in half, he hopes to re-instate the American Dream.

Hmm…

Presidential Hopeful Plans to Give America Back Her Dream by Cutting Gun Violence

First of all, Mr. former Governor of Maryland, let’s verify your gun control track record, shall we? You’ve stated that you plan to use all of the same gun control measures which were used in your own state. But, I’d like to take a moment to point out just how well your re-donk-you-lous plan worked in Baltimore.

Oh wait, I just checked and, sorry dude. It didn’t work. Actually, it seems to have done the exact opposite of what you were trying to do. In fact, it’s so bad that some have reported that the homicide rate has risen by almost half. The exact number is closer to a 60% increase, which was reported by CBS.

Why is that? Because stupid can’t fix stupid.

And, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what type of gun control measures you put into place: bad guys (AKA criminals) will still be able to get those guns.

I’ve got an idea. Actually, it’s rather novel. Instead of doing more of the same background checks, how bout we make prison suckier for criminals who end up back in the system? You know, instead of 3 hots and a cot, throw him a fish head and a mat to sleep on (like they do in other countries with lower crime rates.)

In other words, let’s make it so bad that they don’t want to screw up anymore.

I was a corrections officer for the worst 10 months of my life. I hated every minute of it, and to know that the criminals live better than most homeless people do, is simply mind boggling.

But, I’m not even going to talk about the cable-ready cell blocks, or the big screen TV in the rec room, because that’s not the point.

The point, is how to give Americans back their Dreams. Actually, I think I’ve got this figured out, too. The Constitution, and all of her words, is a great place to start when talking about giving back the American Dream. That vital document gives the American people the right of life and liberty. It also gives them the ability to pursue happiness.

That’s what our forefathers intended when they wrote the two most important American documents ever written. They intended our country’s people to be free – not slaves to a corrupt system.

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Finally, sir, since our Constitution is so very important, why don’t we stop trying to remove bits and pieces from it that slowly erode our freedoms away? Ya know, like the first and second amendments? After all, the two go hand in hand to ensure that the rest of the constitution remains alive and healthy.